OBNOXIOUS vs NOXIOUSon July 21, 2014 at 2:43 pm
When you look at things I write about, or things our ForeverFamilyComic is about, it’s hard to miss the connecting thread.
I don’t search these things out. I’m not sitting at home in the ‘water closet’ just trying to squeeze out another idea on the matter. **That was an wonderfully witty play on words, folks. I could have that one written on my tombstone and be happy looking up at it for eternity. Self. Pat. On. Back.
No, this is a topic because I have kids. 3 kids. 3 creatures that have provided me with a never ending fresh-take on the subject of dootie. Heck, due to Mia’s kidney disease we HAVE to talk about it. Every visit to the Nephrologist includes a discussion on regularity, descriptive words I’ll avoid here, and a reminder that we need to “stay on top of it” – as if we can give her a squeeze and make it happen.
CJ on the other hand has no problems with the deadliest of numbers (that’s of course #2), unless you count shutting down restaurant bathrooms for a minimum of 30 minutes. Causing lines of men giving me death stares and eventually leading to a Hazmat team to clear the place. It’s not infrequent, that the business owner considers calling Homeland Security to investigate whether CJ has unleashed a potentially life threatening biological weapon on the scene.
And then there’s Ollie.
This little guy is determined to make your eyes burn, tear, or bleed, with his ‘gifts’. Preferably all 3 at once. He has also chosen to revolt anytime he’s placed on the changing table and would like to bicycle kick that filthy diaper directly into your face, Pelé style, circa 1970. At 11 months, he is truly a gifted athlete when it comes to flinging poo. On a recent visit to the zoo, the monkeys all bowed in reverence, as he’s 2nd only to Caesar, on the totem pole of simian respect.
So when you see another poo powered comic on Wednesday, know that it is a gift, not from me… but from my fabulous brood of Defecators. They will not be denied!