The problem with adoption is ‘Star Wars’. I’ll let you bake on that for a second, with the warmth of two Tatooine suns.

Here’s the deal. My son will never hear Darth Vader say “Luke. I am your father”, and be gutted with shock. He’ll never be scared of Bobba Fett. My daughter will never organically discover that a princess can go from diplomat to laser gun toting badass in mere moments and giggle with glee. Why?

Because all of these things are on t-shirts at Walmart. Cups at Taco Bell. Lunch boxes. Parody videos.

Even the prequels are before their time. Before OUR time. I never got to shape their ‘Star Wars’ world view. Steer them in the direction of episode IV, V, and VI, before ‘The Abominations’. Sure, I wouldn’t have been able to keep them from seeing all the mentions in pop culture, but I could have yelled, “BLINDERS!! EARMUFFS!!!”, before they stumbled into Hot Topic and had Japanamation Yodas thrust in their face.

I finally got my hands on digital copies of the Originals. Before the changes. How can you be scared of Jabba the Hutt, after you’ve seen Han Solo step on his tail, and his eyes bug out like Ralph Kramden in ‘Honeymooners’?

Here’s hoping for a rainy Saturday, a bucket of popcorn, and a journey that – while not totally mind blowing – will still be enjoyable, because it’s the first time we watched it as a family.