Clean Up Isle 1
It’s definitely been a busy week. The kids had half a week off for snow. Kidney Bean had a follow up surgical procedure to remove her stent. Ollie is growing what appears to be a ceramic knife in the bottom of his mouth. And they are all a mess. When we adopted a 5 and 3 year old, I DID think we had skipped a couple of the dirtier years. Even if Ollie hadn’t shown up, I quickly realized, I was wrong. These are filthy creatures. Melody and I are constantly amazed by the level of food that accumulates under the dining room table. Amazed… and disgusted. We not only put the kids in layers for cold weather, but also layer carpets underneath, in anticipation of their sheer mutilation of food. Pigs would look at them and say “show some class”.
And then there is Ollie. I’ve been spit up on before I was a parent of an infant. It’s no big deal. Really. But Ollie…. well, he totally disregards the “he just ate” rule of thumb for spitting up. He may grow up to be a master brewer, the way he lets that stuff sit and ferment, before releasing it upon you. It’s also the kid’s flawless aim. He’s brutally accurate. It’s as if his goal is the area of your neck that allows equal amounts down the front and INSIDE of your shirt, requiring a shower for you, and bath for him. And he scores EVERY time. He’s the Pelé of projectile vomiting.
This doesn’t even take into account the results of feeding him his new favorite food: Pureed Prunes. I’m not sure who the first person was that gave their baby prunes, but it should have never progressed to the second. I’m also shocked they don’t sell ‘high-backed’ diapers with every jar, as normal diapers just can’t contain the environmental calamity that is, ‘Prune Poop’.
Stay tuned Wednesday as we attempt to find solutions to this serious problem, in the latest comic at http://ForeverFamilyComic.com