There are a lot of books on parenting. There’s a lot of advice thrown around. There’s a constant changing of the minds on what punishment to dole out for every situation under the sun. But there’s no consensus. And this is because children are broken. They are missing a key component that would make parenting them effortless. That piece of lost hardware is a Thought Driven Light Bulb. A light above their head to say either, “I’m doing this because I’m 4” or “I’m doing this because I suck”.

Take a moment and dream how easy parenting could be….

I broke a lamp [because I don’t understand limits] / [because I was being a class A-1 Jerk]
I can’t solve that math problem [I can’t wrap my head around the concept] / [I’m replaying Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in my head]
I hurt a kid [I don’t know my own strength] / [They had it coming!]

The government has spent millions to see if shrimp can run on treadmills and making glow-in-the-dark sheep. Maybe we could spend some of that money on an indicator light for my kid? That way, I know whether to throw him in the hole for an hour or just let his brain keep cooking till it reaches its proper level of doneness.

This week’s comic features a time-honored tradition of punishment. Check back for the fun on Wednesday.
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